Stop Waiting for “Happily Ever After”

Happily Ever After…?

The once upon a time fairy tales always end with happily ever after. The only problem is, when we buy into the idea of fairy tales, we postpone our life. We postpone our living and we postpone our happiness. Talk about disempowering.

“IF I find Mr. or Mrs. Right,” “IF I find prince or princess Charming,” “IF I find my soul mate,” THEN I can have my happily ever after.

What if your ‘Happily Ever After’ had nothing to do with anyone else? What if your ‘Happily Ever After’ was your choice, your creation and no one could take it from you? What if you could choose it NOW?

Believing in the fairy tale is a great way to avoid creating your life. Are you ready to change this? Are you ready to create the life you desire no matter what anyone else says? …Whether it includes a partner or not?

Here are three tools you can use to create the life you desire and choose the happiness that is available to you today:

  • Start a “Gratitude for You” Journal

Start a gratitude journal and every day add one to three things that you are grateful for about you. So often we judge ourselves, especially if we have bought into the fantasies and insanities of the perfect relationship. I mean really, think about it – if you believe that there is a perfect person for you or a soul mate and you can’t seem to find them, what do you do? You judge yourself. You think there must be something wrong with you. What if there is absolutely nothing wrong with you? What if you are far greater than you’ve yet acknowledged?

When you start a gratitude journal for you, you start to see all of the amazing gifts and qualities of you. You move away from the judgment of you and into perceiving the greatness of you.

  • Ask, “What would I like to have as my life?”

Notice I didn’t say, “What would I like to have as my relationship?” That’s because all great relationships start with you having all of you. Most people look for a relationship and when they find one, the relationship is the replacement for their life. They stop living.

You have to ask questions like:

  • What would I like my life to be like in five years?
  • Do I want to travel?
  • How much money do I want to make?
  • What is it that’s most important to me?

Asking these questions will give you clarity on what you desire in life and if it even includes a relationship. Relationship is a choice. You don’t have to have one. And if you do choose one, choose one that adds to your life, not one that replaces your life.

  • Choose

Your choice is a powerful thing. Your choice creates. If you would like to create the life you desire, not based on anyone else’s points of view, you’ve got to start choosing different.

A tool that you can use to get better at making choices is to choose in 10-second increments. Here’s how it works: You have 10 seconds to live the rest of your life. What do you choose? Ok, that lifetime is over, you have 10 seconds to live the rest of your life, what do you choose?

As you practice choosing in 10-second increments, what you desire as your life, what you desire in relationship, what is fun for you will become clear. Choose. Awareness increases. Choose again. More awareness. Choose again.

Your happily ever after is not contingent on anybody else. You can have it. You can create it. The question is, will you choose it?



More from Dr. Dain Heer

Finding Hope, When All Seems Lost

Do you ever look around at the world and feel like it’s...
Read More

What do you think?